The problem with basement apartments

...you don't realize you should have been home 4 hours ago until your father is calling HIS phone at 7 am.

Oh, I almost forgot!

7 people are saying...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARI!!!

while standing on one foot, balancing the entire OED on their left pinkie finger.

Sources Say...

7 people are single right now.

Even the Gays.

Time to make trouble.

Tonight was educational.

You know what 7 people in the world are doing right now?

Having kinky bondage sex in a clown-fire engine with at least one police officer using his badge as a 'do not disturb' sign while making orange-skin-textured blocks out of wax.

Oh, and my grandfather is on fire.

And there was much rejoicing

Hey Rachel, you can post now!

I somehow ended up designated poster Re: Adem's BDayBBQ.  I think I volunteered.  Or maybe I was drugged.  Or hypnotized.  Or there was a shiny object.  

Ooooh, shiny object.

There was much food and much rejoicing.  Any night is good that starts out with chocolate-covered figs and strawberries with a blueberry port reduction for the sauce.  Also Cajun Shrimp Fettucine. Mmmm.  And fiesta dip and homemade guac, and cake.  

Christina played a bunch of songs.  She has mellowed out her voice.  There are no longer moments where you're (or at least I'm) convinced someone is strangling a cat.  John seemed particularly taken with her music.  

We all played "Fill in the Blanks of Ari's Life" since all of us seem to be getting different bits and pieces of your story.  You need to post more damn it. Putting together a puzzle not knowing who has what piece is more complicated than all of our over-taxed brains can handle.  And it will only get worse one the girls to to Vegas and kill brain cells not just with mass amounts of alcohol, but from lack of oxygen when they forget to breathe while watching gyrating manflesh at Thunder from Down Under.

All in all the party was fun, all were well fed. Steffie channeled an overgrown breech baby. (yes I did mean to say breech) It lacked the frenetic haphazard energy of an Ari party, of course, but then again it was an Adem-Channeling-Billy-Mays party.

In other News: The Meghan Files

• Cute boy at softball last week- must pursue, even if he reminds me of Pete.
• It's hella fucking humid.
• I have been invited to participate in a threesome, expect an update about all things awkward this weekend.  But there will be cheesesteak, so not all will be lost.
  
• OkCupid keeps showing me Jeff as a "User you might like".  Must beat Staff Robot to death.  
• There are 7 people in the world right now doing their best Tony the Tiger impersonation  for an audience comprised of a pair of scissors, a can of crushed tomatoes and a plastic hanger.

Holy Shit!

So John moves into his new apartment in the City tomorrow.  

I have the distinct feeling that when he does, and I'm no longer constantly occupied, it's finally going to click that 'Holy Shit! Ari's halfway around the world'.

I do not look forward to this moment.

I'm really dreading it in fact. Constant distraction and companionship (and frequent sex) has kept that bit of my brain at bay.  Now I'm just going to have to curl up in to a little ball and rock for the next 11 months while frantically trying to make an Ari surrogate.  It might involve a can of chick peas, some pipe cleaners, and googly eyes.  Or maybe popsicle sticks.  And mascara, lots of mascara.

In Other News:

• Pete imed me today.  Called me a pessimist.  No surprise there.
• Halloween is only 3 1/2 months away.  Adem is already scheming.
• The nori-wrapped tofu in thai red curry sauce at Gobo is possibly the most orgasm-worthy food ever. 
• There are 7 people in the world right now taking photographs of their pigmy marmosets playing Wagner on miniature theremins.  

That is all.